”I told them a thousand times, those stupid kids.”

I’m at tap class and the show is coming up. We’ve been practicing all the individual steps for weeks now, back and forth, with a drum line beat. It’s really loud and I totally don’t notice because I am completely absorbed, learning so it’s almost unconscious. When I think too hard, I trip over myself.

It’s time finally, to put it all together. Our incredibly kind and patient teacher Nikki leads us and. I completely lose the plot. My brain is full, I can’t remember one thing. I’m watching and catching up on repeat steps and then damn, they go onto the next one and I’m lost all over again. It’s a panicky feeling, just trying to blend in and end on the same boom, boom! as everyone else.

And here’s the thing, I am motivated to learn tap – getting up from the comfy couch on winter’s nights, paying good money for it and all.  What if you were forced to go even if you don’t want to, like kids in school?

If I were Nikki, I’d be thinking “I told them a thousand times, those stupid ladies.” She’s much too nice and laughed when I apologized for being so crap at it. Says it happens all the time and we’ll all get better with practice.

I’m sometimes not that nice. Well mostly, truth to tell.

It really is frustrating to have kids have trouble lighting the Bunsen or mess up on their graphs for the thousandth time.  It’s humbling to remember the tap dance feeling. Maybe it’ll help me be more patient with kids who plough a lab assessment and with stressed parents at an IEP who just do not seem to get the meaning in testing results. Maybe I’ll just get you know, nicer. It’s possible.